.....best la lagu ni... MATAHARIKU

Tertutup sudah pintu .. pintu hatiku
Yang pernah dibuka waktu hanya untukmu
Kini kau pergi dari hidupku
Kuharus relakanmu walau aku tak mau
Berjuta warna pelangi didalam hati
Sejenak luluh bergening menjauh pergi
Tak ada lagi cahaya suci
Semua nada beranjak aku terdiam sepi
Dengarlah matahariku suara tangisanku
Kubersedih kerna panah cinta menusuk jantungku
Ucapkan matahariku puisi tentang hidupku
Tentangku yang tak mampu menaklukan waktu
Berjuta warna pelangi di dalam hati
Sejenak luluh bergening menjauh pergi
Tak ada lagi cahaya suci
Semua nada beranjak aku terdiam sepi

hari ni..

The so called miss perfectionist dah balik dah from her trip to cambodia ( ...o god.. how wish dia tak yah balik malaysia at all ).. so bad of me kan..
and hari ni DIA cam nak jadik like last mth.. i mean not Ms. Perfectionist...its HER.. ala.. my ealier write up bout how i CAN'T STAND HER ANYMORE... aku pun heran.
tu tak masuk bab kerja.. if its bout work.. i just don't understand y does she got to make things so complicated... and kenapa la aku mencurahkan segala ILMU yang aku ada kat sini only to find out that her attitude is like that.. tapi tak pe sebab bak kata kata orang la kan.. kedekut ilmu ni tak kemana.. tak pe la.. no problem...
ambik ko.. aku geram sangat.. sebab your attitude SUCKS big time..

wa..so angry pepagi ni.. sebab DIA gak le..cam na la.. dia communicate dengan orang..
camni..
semalam kat sini power trip and so does the photostat machine.. so dia cam rosak sikit tak leh copy and fax and scan..so she called up the centre.. patutnye the technician datang semalam but she did not follow up.. orang tu tak datang.. so i have to do the clean up for HER!!!!!!!!!!this morning... nanti semua orang tak leh guna.. kan and our office really depends on the machine for faxing and copy..
Aku tak le kata aku ni terer bagus sangat dak.. aku pun.. on the learning curve gak...tapi aku tak biar perkara tu berlalu cam tu je.. i don't TAI-CHI..
hmmm... apa la.. lembut TAK BERTEMPAT... tegas la sikit tapi not RUDE!!!
ye la... compared tu aku.. tak pandai computer-computer cam dia kan.. kasar.. straight foward... tapi kerja jalan.. siap on time..insyaallah...
o ya.. as i am typing this.. mesin photostat tu tengah direpair rite now...
TERIMA KASIH WATI sebab follow up pasal hal ni... as usual...; )

Ni la cara aku express marah aku.. dari aku hurt other people's feelings like HER kan..

ARIFF again...

suka sangat kena snap picture..cam bersedia je...
light. camera.. action... ; )

saje je masa ni.. dia suka sangat buat aksi cem gini. tak tau mana belajarnye...kelakar pun ada gak.. ariff..ariff.. macam-macam la awak ni.. tapi tak pe.. abah and ibu love u so much... muahhhhhhhhh....

kenapa la.. before that.. my new tikar...

saje je nak letak gambor tikar yang baru di beli meant for Ariff.. so he will stop jilating the floor kan... and tak le bila dia meniarap.. terkena lantai whatsoever kan... and plus... lembut tikar ni and i like the colour, design.. simple and besar.. senang gak bila orang datang.. idak le.. sejuk duduk atas lantai..

opsss.. yang tilam biru tu belongs to ariff gak... tu la tempat dia lepal night and day... ; )ibu pun belasah gak.. sometimes...


KENAPALA..

kenapala.. aku tak de kereta so i don't have to trouble.. semua orang.. and senang aku nak pergi kelas and if ada extra kelas ke apa ke.. and senang for me to bring ariff where i go and i don't have to trouble zul anymore.

kenapa la. aku tak de laptop.. macam orang lain... senang untuk aku belajar.. tak le terkejar like right now... penat sangat.. kerja and belajar sekali gus cam sekarang.. curi-curi print san print sini... jalan sana sini jalankan kerja aku kat sini.. aku tak tau nanti macam mana.. bile dah masuk final year.. which is another 2 sem je lagi and macam mana nanti if dapat sambung masters?
tah..tah.. aku kena lupakan semua impian aku sebab TAK MAMPU!!!
aku sedih sangat sekarang... sedih sangat.. kenapa dari dulu sampai sekarang susah sangat untuk aku menimba ilmu? mungkin ini dugaan dari ALLAh kot kan.. sebelum berjaya..
apapun aku BERSABAR.. aku tau.. mesti ada plan yang baik untuk aku..insyaallah...
aku percaya semua ni ada hikmahnya..

hmmm.. dugaan...aku tau pasti ada orang yang lebih susah dari aku.. and aku bersyukur... seriously i am. cuma tu la.. bila terkenang balik...

tapi aku berjanji dengna diri aku sendiri yang aku kan habiskan pelajaran ini... I WILL NEVER GIVE UP.. NEVER SURRENDER...

right now.. i am like rindu sangat kat ariff... baru je like kol 12.32 tgh.. right now.. rasa cam nak balik and peluk dia... hilang semua masalah ni.. bila pandang muka dia..

ARIFF..IBU LOVES YOU SO MUCH.. AND REALLY NEED YOU RIGHT NOW..and would like to borrow your cute little ear so that you can listen to ibu's little problem..
and there is this one rhyme that used to nyanyi kat ariff till now... created by Mak tok timah...

cam ni...

burung ketiti
hinggap atas titi
Ariff besar nanti
jangan lupa diri


..; (

anyways.. have a nice weekn....

kami gunting rambut dia...; )

kami gunting rambut dia... ; ) masa raya cina hari tu we decided that Ariff needs a hari cut badly!!!.. ada orang cakap dia look like girl.. ada yang bertanya pun.. girl ke boy?.. ada ka.. dia rupa cam girl.. tak kan.... ?.. he...he... mula-mula tu senang sangat nak gunting... pas tu dah sebelah kepala botak.. lagi half dia dah meronta-ronta dah.. tak nak gunting..mana boleh..nanti nampak cam punk la pulak kan.. so.. akhirnya.. berjaya dah menggunting rambut dia.. yang dah lama kami patutnya buat...; )

3.01.2008.. bawak ariff gi taman

He was so..so.. so... happy when we decided to bring to him to the park after dinner.. figured we needed the exercise as well.. ; )

hari ni... kerja seorang.. Ogy coti hari ni and esok.. send her kids to school and so does ida.. and So.. here i am... printing this and that sebab dah tahun baru kan.. semua kena tukar ke tahun 2009 before Mr. kicap and Ms. kicap bikin pening kepala gue je... dah siap dah pun..

don't know y la.. i said yes to Mr. Kicap to terima his desktop calendar.. padahal aku saje je biarkan meja aku kosong..tak de apa pun atas meja aku yang ada cuma sebatang pen sahaja.. almaklumla.. tak de tanggungjawab kat sini.. kerja pun memain cem gitu je kan.. cuma aku thankful sesangat sebab aku tak menganggur and dapat gaji halal tiap bulan. aku idak mencuri or merompak ke whatsoever la kan..

tapi tu la.. teringin gak.. nak ada tanggungjawab and bekerja dalam erti kata sebenar..

ya la.. kerja tu kan ibadah... nak gak... rasa cam na... penat jerih kerja tu.. and buat yang terbaik and berpuas hati..

anyways.. apa pun aku BERSYUKUR......all i know ALLAh is planning something better and the best for me.. insyaallah...

Hari ni aku derma barang-barang yang aku tak pernah guna..pada this friend of mine.. she is from indonesia.. a cleaner.. dia baik and hardworking.. i donated my clothes to her la.. beg la.. all my hand cream la.. i don't know y... but i figured because she is honest kot.. she is always there to listen to my leteran and when i needed a friend... the most... tah le.. tapi aku ikhlas.. aku kesian tengok dia.. dia ada anak seorang.. kat indonesia.. about 3-4 yers old cem gitu rasanye.. and here she is.. working so hard for his little daughter.. and for their future...

she prays for me.. and she said to me.. only ALLAH.. can repay me back .. and wishes that my marraige and my son would be in good health...and happy as well..

i told her.. ''tak pela.. dari tak guna.. rosak cem gitu je.. baik bagi kat awak..lagipun.. tak pernah guna and its stil brand new.. ''and coincidently dia memang guna warna yang aku kasik tu...alhamdullilah.. kebetulan lak.

tah le.. i am happy... looking and seeing her happy.. sebab dia ikhlas kot...and lagipun dia orang susah.. stuck je kat semenyih ni.. and jujur biler bekerja.. insyaallah...

setakat ni kerja dia memang memuaskan.. tak pernah membantah and said no.. bile aku mintak tolong specially... masa aku mengandungkan ariff.. banyak nasihat dan petua yang dia kasik.. and she even helped me angkat kotak-kotak yang berat tu and brochures yang berat-berat kat 10-25 kg tu!!!!

hmmm.. ok la.. back to my paperwork... ada lagi sikit nak siap before hujung minggu ni..ada KELAS... BACK TO SCHOOL.. ; ) can't wait.. ; )

take care.. everybody....see ya.. ; )

2.1.2009

ni la gamabr meja makan ku... a table which i bought few days back.. a table which i long for.. these years...
a table which enable me to have a proper dinner with hubby and also for my " kerja-kerja sekolah" Alhamdullilah.. again and again... ALHAMDULLILAH..
though its a simple table but it means a lot to me.. as a whole year i worked so hard keep the money to have this just nice not o big not to small dining table..
enough about it...

HAPPY NEW YEAR... May god bless and have a wonderful year ahead to all of us..
as for me.. i want to go kurus and finish my degree this year..insyaallah.. habis cepat-cepat so i cam make a move out from here and improve myself better or enhance myself better...
mana tau kot ada rezeki lebih kat luar sana ke kan mana tau.. insyallah...if ada.. insyaallah.. i would be able to keep more money for me and ariffnye saving.. aku pun bukan muda lagi... i need to secure ariff nye financial status...mana tau kot apa jadik.. he is protected.. insyaallah...

so.... promised my self to go kurus and study really hard... this year.. ; )